


fireworks light the sky above us

by earpsolano



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: 4th of july aka roisa day, F/F, i am sorry it is angsty ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 13:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11403408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earpsolano/pseuds/earpsolano
Summary: it has been a year since Rose and Luisa first met and they both end up at the same place at the same time. It all becomes too much for Luisa.





	fireworks light the sky above us

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 4th of July / Roisa anniversary <3
> 
> if you want fluffy stuff to read about these two today and not angst, pls just leave now :)

Luisa sat up straight, her heart slamming within her chest, her breathing short and sharp.

She felt a calm slowly take over her trembling body as she knew it wasn’t real.

 

It was _just_ a dream.

 

a nightmare.

 

another one.

 

Luisa slowly pulled the covers back, careful not to wake her girlfriend who was still sound asleep, as she climbed out of bed and walked out of the room, the door clicking behind her, the sound filling the silent room.

 

Luisa sank into the couch, pulling a blanket around her as she took another steady breath in, trying to control the shivering of her hands.

 

Then, a flash, a bang, a reminder of everything Luisa was trying to forget.

 

Fireworks from outside lit the room, lit Luisas head of thoughts she had been trying to lock away.

 

Thoughts that laced Luisas nightmares.

 

Luisa could feel her heart quickening again, her stomach turning, her hands still shaking and she knew she couldn’t sit in the hotel room much longer.

 

Not with a mini bar within reach.

 

So, she left.

 

Luisa walked out of the room, down the dimly lit hallway, down however many stairs it took until she was at the bar.

 

And she kept walking, outside, around the hotel until she reached the swimming pool.

 

_The_ pool.

 

A year ago, she made quite possibly the biggest mistake of her life.

 

A mistake, that if given the chance, Luisa would do all over again.

 

Luisa sat down slowly at the edge of the pool, her feet sliding under the water as she did so.

 

Another firework exploded in the sky above the brunette and another memory filled her vision.

 

_Rose._

Luisa slowly moved her feet through the water, calming herself as she watched another firework ignite above her.

 

_Rose._

 

“Luisa?” a voice that made Luisa’s breath hitch in her throat spoke quietly from behind her.

 

Luisa thought she was insane, that she was hearing things, that her mind was deluding her.

 

But as she turned around she saw everything she could have ever hoped for.

 

She saw the only person that had the power to break her in half.

 

“Rose?” Luisa whispered back, her voice breaking as she spoke.

 

The redhead was wearing a black tank top and shorts, her hair pulled up into a messy bun, no makeup, no guard up, nothing fake, just Rose.

 

A Rose hasn't seen in a long time.

 

“It’s nearly one in the morning, what are you doing out here Luisa?” Rose asked, her voice filled with concern, her eyes flooded with curiosity

 

“I could ask you the same question.” Luisa replied, too quickly, her voice sharp and defensive.

 

Rose didn’t push her, she just sat down beside her, her feet sliding into the pool as she did so.

 

A silence that was filled with the explosions of light above them took over.

 

Neither speaking as they both tired so hard to push aside memories of the last time they were sat here, both trying to repress every memory they shouldn’t have made since that day.

 

One year, more than one more mistake made.

 

“I had a nightmare.” Luisa spoke up, Rose turning her head to watch the brunette speak. “I needed some air, some space, I just couldn’t sit in there with…” Luisa cut herself off, not wanting to mention Allison to Rose.

 

“You don’t have to explain it if you don’t want to.” Rose said softly, her fingers gently pushing Luisa’s hair over her shoulder.

 

This is when Luisa should have stood up.

 

This is when Luisa should have left.

 

This is when Luisa does something, anything but let the inevitable happen.

 

But Roses lips are on her collarbone, and Luisa loses what little control she has.

 

The next thing Luisa knows her hands are in Rose’s hair, her lips on Roses neck, her thoughts exploding in her head, her heart louder than the fireworks above them.

 

Roses hand trace her body, running slowly up her thighs,

 

And then, it all becomes too much.

 

Luisa pushes herself back, quickly staggering to her feet.

 

Rose sits still, her mouth hanging slightly open, her lips swollen from Luisa’s kiss.

 

“Lu, what…are you okay?” Rose stumbles over her words as she tries to catch her breath.

 

Luisa just stood still, quiet, everything was just too much.

 

Rose was too much.

 

Luisa couldn’t understand it anymore.

 

Every time she thought she was close to understanding the redhead, every time she thought she had found something to hold on to, she lost it.

 

“What the hell are we doing?” Luisa asked, her mind racing with a million questions that needed answering.

 

“What do you mean?” Rose asked, confused to why Luisa had stopped, why this was happening.

 

“Why are you here Rose?”

 

“Why do you think I’m here Lu?” Rose stood as she spoke, stepping towards to Luisa, her fingers tracing the length of Luisa’s arms.

 

Luisa didn’t answer, she was afraid of the answer.

 

“Rose, I can’t do this, whatever this is.” Luisa said, taking another step back. “I have spent the last year trying _so_ hard to get over you. Trying to move on, to break whatever spell you put over me. I’ve had more relapses with you this year than I have with alcohol in my entire fucking life. I have not spent the last year torturing myself to be back at square one a year later.”

 

“Luisa…“ Rose tried to speak up, to say something, to apolgise, to tell her, to tell Luisa why she couldn’t be what she needed, why she has to lie, who she is.

 

That she loves her.

 

But she couldn’t.

 

Rose stood, silent.

 

Luisa scoffed, shaking her head, tears filling her eyes.

 

“You were my nightmare.” Luisa spoke steadily whilst Rose took what felt like a gun shot to her chest. “well, losing you. That was my nightmare. That’s why I was out here. Because I was scared of losing you. Stupid though, I am scared of losing something I never had.” Luisa laughed to herself, the perfect contradiction to the tears now streaming down her face.

 

“I am sorry, Luisa, I am so so sorry.” Rose whispered the first apology she had ever meant, not that Luisa would ever know that.

 

“Yeah well sorry won’t change anything, will it?” Luisa turned as she spoke, walking away. “Just stay away from me. Please, just leave me alone.”

 

Luisa left Rose.

 

She went back to her hotel room.

 

Back to Allison.

 

And Rose stayed away.

 

If she couldn’t be with Luisa, if all she was going to do was hurt her, then Luisa was right.

 

She needed to stay away, 

 

So she did.

 

She stayed away.

 

She bit her tongue as Luisa said ‘I do’.

 

She didn’t look for Luisa when she said her own vows.

 

She did what Luisa had told her.

 

Because she loved Luisa.

 

She loved her enough to step back, to forget herself and let Luisa be happy.

 

Well, as happy as Luisa could be without her.

 

So Rose let go, Luisa moved on and the fireworks became a symbol of something they were both desperately trying to forget.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked that lil ball of angst, (any) comments are always appreciated 
> 
> <3


End file.
